Booty Flake

I Ain't Mad

Blonde's

Q: How can you tell that a blonde's been baking chocolate chip cookies?

A: There's M&M shells all over the floor.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall

Forgetful chicken

Q: Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.

Deep Voice

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: "Dig!"

He looks around: nobody's there. "I am having hallucinations", he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: "I said, dig!"

So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: "Open!"

Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins. The deep voice says: "To the casino!"

Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino. The deep voice says: "Roulette!"

So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. The deep voice says: "27!"

He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stops at the 26. The deep voice says: "Shit!"

Season Ticket

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over," he said.